Too much.

I had no idea I could go this long without feeling hungry. By the time I'm done writing this, I won't have eaten for 24 hours. I'm just.. not hungry. Not thirsty. Haven't had a drop of water since I got home from the birthday. 18 hours. It's not healthy. But it just doesn't matter. The only thing I feel a need for is him. For him to tell me he'll go to therapy with me, and that we're not broken. I want to be his friend, if nothing else, but I honestly don't think I can. It's already painful. I'm going to lose him. I've lost him.

This is all too much. Losing him is that last drop that's gonna make me come undone. I can feel the seams, ripping. Tearing. And he's not here. Cause my fucking stupid brain couldn't just let me tell him I give a damn. That it's me who's broken.

I don't want to talk to anyone.

I can't do this. I can't be without him.