Display

Yesterday was announced official "Men Sucks" day. At least between the bat and I. Mainly for her sake, really, but the idea was wonderful, and I decided to support it. (That way, she got to fume and rage, which she really fucking needed to do, or she just might have attacked someone with a frozen eggroll.)

Allthough it presented a nice opportunity for myself to fume and rage a little bit. I've been holding anger in for a week, it would have exploded at some point if I didn't let it out. Thankfully, my anger was met with total understanding. One thing that has really bothered me is the mentioning of my name. In public. I don't mind a person yelling at me, having a problem with me, discussing this problem and calling me a bitch to their friends, if that's what they want. But to be as disrespectful as to put my name out there in such a negative way... That is infuriating.

Note that, in my blogs. I might be severely angry with someone. I might want to seperate their heads from their body. But I do not mention their names. If I mention a name in a blog, it's in a harmless or happy situation. I don't put people on display.

And that is yet another problem I have with a person I, quite frankly, have gotten along with like shit, as of late. This infuriatingly disrespectful person.

I have acknowledged the fact that I did something, or rather I neglected to do something, which hurt this person. I acknowledged and apologized for my mistake.

Through this whole.. disagreement, in lack of better word, I have been disrespected, ignored, pushed, yelled at, put on public display and tolerated demeaning behaviour.
Through this whole thing, I have heard excuses, explanations, rationalizations and looked at fingers pointing to me.

Not once. Not once have I heard or even detected an apology. Not once has this person said to me, "Okay, I shouldn't have pushed you into telling me."

Not once have they acknowledged the fact that they never had the right to push me. That if I chose to tell them, it would be because I wanted to, in my own time.

Time. All I needed. And no. Caring isn't an excuse. Being interested in my life isn't and excuse. The second the words "I'm not ready to talk about it yet." left my mouth, they should have been respected. And they weren't. And I do not tolerate that.

Pushing me, after me having said that, is a way to get what you want yourself. That had NOTHING to do with caring about what happens in my life. When you push a matter I've said no to, claiming your RIGHT to it, you're robbing me of my freedom to do or say what I want. THAT is where I get that point from, because that is how I see it. As an attempt to rob me of that freedom.

So no, I will not "talk this out" or "listen to an explanation". Until there's a true, honest acknowledgement of YOUR mistakes, YOUR responsibility and YOUR misjudgements, I will not listen. End of story.