The sequel..

It's been half an hour since I sent him to bed, and my heart is still fluttery and full of butterflies. I'm so smitten. I can't even. If the rest of my life consisted of just lying up against him in silence, listening to his heartbeat and just existing together.. I'd still be perfectly happy.

I miss him when he's working, when he's sleeping. Honestly, I miss him if he's quiet for even 5 minutes. I don't demand his constant attention, don't take it like that, Peepers. My heart just craves him 24/7.

I went out with some friends, and I did a rather solid attempt at not being glued to my phone the whole time. He was very well behaved, too. There was a situation that had me needing him for a bit, and one that had him needing me, but apart from that, I was pretty present at the outing. It's horrible that I'm proud of that, but right now, every second I manage to not be entirely focused on him, is impressive to me.

When I was about to go home, he was about to go to bed, but he didn't like that I was going home on my own, so he stayed up till he was sure I was home safe. And since there was an incident with some guy on the way, that was much appreciated. But he wanted to make sure I got home safe, even if he wasn't there to walk me.. How fucking adorable is that?!

Ugh, Peeeeeeperrrrs! He's so fucking good to me. All the time. He's always making sure I'm okay, that I'm happy. And if I'm even the least bit not, he listens to me and doesn't go anywhere till I am, again. It's like he's incapable of doing or saying anything wrong. For almost two months, not one word or action have been even near a line. It's like he just has this perfect picture of what I want and need and adore, and he's just acting it out. Was he made especially for me? Because it feels like that. He rarely eats breakfast, it makes him feel sick. His ears are perfect for his head. He has fucking incredible shoulders. Peepers. I mean. He doesn't like brusselsprouts. They're the evilest vegetable. He doesn't like corn, so I won't have to sort my food, ever! He doesn't like his peas touching the rest of his food, he likes that I'm a horrible winner, cause he enjoys seeing me happy and gleeful. We're both social introverts, meaning we love being social, but need alonetime to recharge. We both appreciate being alone, together, which I believe is an artform. His favorite style for women land somewhere in between dresses and knee-high socks or tights, and oversize sweaters or whatever of his I'll steal. It's like.. The direction my wardrobe has been going for the past 6 months, compiled into a few keywords. We even both love sleeping and consider it an actual activity. I could go on and on and on, it's actually rather disgusting how much were just.. On the same page.

We've talked about how we'd want to raise children. And there's one thing I've always said is mandatory if I have kids. Stability. I never want any child of mine to feel invisible or rejected. I never want my kids to feel animosity between their parents. I want them to experience love, stability even through hardship, strength in being a team, and have the time and attention that their existence demands. More than anything, I never, ever want my kids to feel ignored, neglected or abandoned, like I felt.

And him? His first priority, without me having said anything first, is being there. Being present for his kids. Taking time to talk to them, listen to them, play with them, going to their school events, taking them to football practice. Sit down and have meals together, do homework with them. To let them know they're loved and wanted. That they're safe and deserve to be cared about. I wanted to cry, legit cry, when he was talking about it.

So you ask how I know he's the one I want to have kids with? How he knows I'm the one he wants that with? Cause we don't have a doubt we can create that, together.

Piece by piece, he restores my faith.

I don't think I can let him go, ever. It's like I never really breathed before now. Like my heart only just learned how to beat. I feel like I'm finally where I'm supposed to be.

He makes me feel so wanted. So incredible wanted in every way. Heard, loved, cared about, safe, admired, understood, desired. He makes me feel appreciated, heart, Mind, body and soul. And I'm not just saying that, he really does have reason and arguments to each of those points, and he makes a point out of telling me. Every day. How I'm beautiful, how much he enjoys it when we're discussing something and I show insight he hadn't considered, how my understanding and striving to accept other people's differences is admirable to him, how my reading him like an open book makes him feel perfectly happy, cause I just get him. It's just.. Puzzle pieces. Click.

I don't even care how sappy we are. It's all-consuming and fucking beautiful from the inside. And I will enjoy every second of it, for the rest of my life, which I'll share with him.

You and me, babe. Always.