Missing my castle

Ugh, been staring at the ceiling for two hours. Cannot sleep. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, then the gym with the Bat, and then Rikke is arriving for a sleepover, after we go to the big event.

I'm all Czocha, still. I'm so excited, I dream it, I think it, I still play it, I talk about it, and I already have a thousand plans for next time. I'm looking forward to competing to make prefect. To roam the castle and grounds. To send borderline inappropriate letters to Winterbourne. To fight with pureblood bigots in muggle studies. To set Lynn up on a blind date. To fight with Ren, and to see how he plans on winning my affection back. To scream at Kara. To have an intimate moment with Miclariotic in the mirror room, possibly with him lovingly scolding me for my pilfering. To mixing EEE in the common room and play Divination. To sing. To get my lovely junior out of all kinds of trouble. To dance. To be passed up in secret passages by my deceitful ex, trying to win me back, by physical and emotional manipulation. Which I'm counting on him to use XD Oh, the Skye/Ren conflict will be so much fun. Her, unable to get over her feelings, crossing into hatred to mask them, pushing him away and fighting him, and him, manipulative and conspiratorial, getting his way in any way he can. I foresee lone fights in empty corridors, crossing into struggling and restrainment, and moving on to suppressed passion colliding. It will be /so/ fucked up, intense and insane and I cannot wait. I'm dying to go right now.

Oh take me back, take me back to the castle of my dreams. Take me home.

And the longing is what's fucking me up. I dream it. I dreamt about writing a 4 page report for muggle studies. I dreamt about swimming in the lake with Hugin and Kienan, splashing around in the spring sun. I dreamt about a secret friendship with Winterbourne, calling him by his given name when no one heard. I dreamt about Klimmek smiling proudly when I made prefect, Kienan ready to stand by my side and face a whole new year together. I dreamt about starlit nights in the tower with Rendor, him making a grand romantic gesture to apologize for his behaviour. I dreamt about sneaking down to do potions with Lynn in the middle of the night.

In the meantime, I do Divinition. I get a kick out of being first to answer the lectures, Skye really wants to show off to Rendor, even if he doesn't know it's her behind the sobriquet. She wants his praise, she wants to be acknowledged. And she wants to be the best in class. She's a competitive little fucker.

I wrote letters today, after transforming a chopstick into a pen. It's by no means perfect, but it looks better than a ballpoint. I prepared the date letters and a letter to Professor Winterbourne. I also made some Not-Skye-seals, so she can do anonymous letters. They're very basic, but that's only good. And I found a lot of stuff for the next artifact I'm making. If it works out the way I want it to, it will look awesome.

I also dug out some leather, so I can do a proper wand sheath. I knew I had some scraps from the chair I stripped in the spring. It won't be perfect, I don't have the tools to do it right, so I'll sew it, but it'll be sturdier than the ribbon one. And fit better.

I should try to sleep again. Been talking about Skye and Ren a lot today, so that's probably where my dreams are headed. I can't complain, it's one entertaining drama. And it only gives me more ideas.

I love the fact that he let her scar him. Obviously I don't know Michaels thoughts about it 100%, but I have a feeling, like the bracelet representing their love, and him never even telling her, that it might be an expression that he truly cares about Skye. Poor girl. Attracting the most difficult people. She really should get better people in her life, and maybe not date anyone like Laszlo. He's bad for her. But oh so convincing.

It's fun to play love. It demands improvisation from me, I only ever played love with Louise, and that was such a hippie kind of thing, it doesn't compare. This is conflicted, difficult, angsty and all... Teenage.

So. Much. Fun!