Crazy!

It is so weird. I'm practically being chased. Within the past 36 hours, 5 men have made their interest known to me. One was very drunk and really only repeated his already expressed lust for me (and that is what it is, lust), one I only just met, though I've known his name for quite a while, from others, and the three last are friends. One of them I have this friendly flirt with, which has been going on for years, and it won't change, cause that's where we're both comfortable, but the other one has turned to more of a.. "I'm interested, we both aren't looking for serious, wanna give it a go and just have fun?" and I'm not really sure yet, cause I never looked at him that way, but we do have an amazing chemistry. I don't know if it's only friendly though. We'll see. In any case, neither of us are looking for more than a friend to hang out with, whom it would be safe and uncommitted to fall in with. The last one is a constant, and not an option, anyway. Not now, at least.

But! The point! It's like there's this.. Horde of guys who have just been waiting for me to be single XD I know it's not the case, obviously, I'm not that full of myself, but with the amount of attention I'm getting, it really feels that way. It's overwhelming. Right now, I'm just riding the wave of positive attention, trying to manage it the best I can. How did I become the girl who's being chased, though? I'm kinda flabbergasted. I'm really not dating material right now.

It's not even because I'm sad anymore. The whole marriage thing somehow managed to liberate me of any lingering feelings. I'm not happy about the way he handled the whole friendship deal, that stings, but whatever was left in me to still think of him as mine, and me as his, it's gone. And it feels good. I am, however, really tired of dealing with his all-over-the-place feelings, and I just knew it was the final straw. I need to move on with my life, and I won't get anywhere if I have to drag him behind me, holding onto some sense of regard for his feelings for me, when he doesn't do me the same courtesy. It's just an added stress factor, in a sensitive topic, to a difficult history, and I am ready to leave all that crap behind.

It's not like I'm going to avoid him or not say hi if I run into him, but he's just.. Not friend material anymore. He's somebody that I used to know.

I'd much rather spend my energy on all this exciting stuff going on! With CoW and all the visits to Bastard Café, I'm meeting a lot of new people, and I'm loving it! The drivers license is going perfectly, the kitchen is slowly, slowly coming along.

My CoW planning is skyrocketing. Skye found a girlfriend! She doesn't know that it's actually Rendor who convinced Francesca to date her, so she wouldn't fall in love with anyone else. Winterbourne,  for example. Cause Rendor wants her back! And he isn't the kind of guy who apologizes and romances her into it. Noooo. He's the kind of guy who gets a girl to date his intended, a girl who's only in it to spy on their house, a girl who's having at least one affair, a girl who will be found out, and when the girls break up, he will be the supportive friend, waiting to make it all better. He'll also be the infuriating ex, who keeps using Skye's lingering feelings to make her admit she still loves him, attempting to seduce her (while still dating Cesca? Who knows!), and he'll definitely be the sweet, regretful ex, who has all the answers to how they could make it work, if they just tried again. It will be so fucked up.

In the meantime! Klimmek, her dear mentor, is trying to talk her into summoning a demonic manifestation of her own anger, in order to master it, rather than let it control her. After the break up with Ren, where she scarred him, in her fit of rage, she's been having trouble reigning it in. It's pretty dangerous, and he's overly confident in his skills, so talking her into it is not impossible. Especially cause she thinks it might be a way for her to also control her feelings for Rendor, which constantly flows from love to hate and back again. He also wants her to steal potions ingredients... Though, I think Skye might just ask Evelyn to help her.

In the meantime... I am totally planning to have an inappropriate relationship with professor Winterbourne. Not that Skye will tell anyone, she keeps claiming it's a professional relationship. But she so wants him. He's likeminded, sweet and a great inspiration for her. But she doesn't want to be the girl who's dating a professor, that's scandalous. So it will be all letters and smiles in class, and hopefully I get to call him Sinclair :D

I cannot wait.