Untitled... For Once.

Ugh, my head feels way too big. Not thinking just wasn't an option last night. So tired.

I really want to put the logic-hat on and not be sad, but even the results the logic-hat comes up with makes me sad. Despite everything, I got to be happy for awhile. I guess that's reassuring? I was starting to doubt I was able to. I was honestly starting to doubt I was capable of really feeling anything at all, and out of nowhere, here was a person who made me happy. Now I don't have that anymore, and that's pretty devastating.

Idiotic, isn't it? Getting so sad over this. Especially when I saw it coming a mile away. I just chose to ignore the inevitable, and be happy for a little while longer. For a while I had something to look forward to, something to enjoy, something that actually made me smile. Simple little things.. I've always liked the little things in life, the most. How a person would smile. How their laugh sounded. How they moved, or had little habits they didn't even notice they had.

And the simple little things is what I'll miss. Some things more then others. Sleeping next to him. That little snoring sound he makes, when he turns over in his sleep. Waking up unable to move cause his legs were completely tangled up with mine. That look he'd send me when I was being a brat. The "yes, but no" type comments. I'll miss those things.

And it probably sounds all wrong. Like it's more then it is. I've come to care about a person so different from everything I know, and letting go of a lot of the things I've grown fond of about him, is flat out no fun. I hate it. And all I really want to do is curl up in his arms and being surrounded by his smell, cause that's become a comfort to me. No matter how bad an idea it probably is. He'd even point out how bad an idea it is if I brought it up.

Back to handling things the only way I know how to; staying busy.