Anger

Everyone reaches this point in their life. The moment in which they see their parents clearly for the first time. The moment their parents are no longer just a parent, but a person. And let's face it, you can't like everyone.

I'm definitely starting to see some sides of my mother I don't like. No, not starting to see them, I always knew they were there, but they were ignorable. I cannot stand the passive behavior anymore. Saying something to me, just to go completely silent 5 minutes later, because her boyfriend is attending the conversation. It is not okay.

If you say you're going to go with one plan, then fucking stick with your choice to all those who ask, or don't make it known at all! And it's always like this! We agree to do something, in this case a family trip up north that has to be on a certain date, because we have to rent a car awhile ahead. She forgets she has other plans on that particular date, and so of course we try to change it to make it work for everyone.

The boyfriend is apparently planning a trip to Jutland to visit some places I for one have been talking about, which is initially awesome. But he absolutely refuses to try and choose a time where we will be going on this trip, cause he wants it to be when the weather is nice. Well, okay, fine, as long as it doesn't interfere with the now moved family trip. Oh, but if it just happens to be the only time during his two week break with his son, of course we'll just skip out on our family thing, and go.

Um. No? (I couldn't even do that if I wanted, I have a cat I need to plan having watched, and I can't call up my grandparents and say "Oh, hey, we're skipping the family thing and heading to Jutland, I'll drop Alex off in half an hour, bye!") And mom doesn't say anything, even though we moved the damn event for her fucking sake. She is apparently content to let him speak for her and decide what she should or shouldn't do? Of course, if I had just asked her while we were alone, she would have said he doesn't have a say, she'll do what she wants. But I know from experience she would go with him when it came down to it. She always does. Which would be fine with me, if she would just fucking say that from the beginning.

It's like being fucking stabbed in the back by your own mother, when she continuously does the opposite of what she tells you.

However. I'm pissed beyond words for that reason, and another. The infuriating little jerk of a man she's with, behaves like a cavetroll every chance he gets. I'm sick and tired of him raising his voice to me, cause he isn't getting his way. And the huffing and puffing and pointing me in the face attitude simply makes me not want to deal with him. It's threatening behaviour, and I won't put up with that. And the fact that my mother once again went silent and mute and said nothing in my defence is unacceptable.

Right now, I just want to pack up my things and leave. To not be around her for a good solid couple of years. Or at least till she learns how to fucking follow through with what she says.

Can't be that fucking difficult.