Okay, so the day took a turn for the worse. I am currently using my mother's boyfriend's laptop. My own? Is on it's merry way to Sweden. Yeah, a simple little repair that's going to take about 2-4 weeks.
.... Can you say shockmode?
I almost started crying right there in the store. It felt horrible to leave the damn thing behind, almost like the way it felt to leave my cat at the vet's, when he got neutered.
Damn cooler -.-
So. I'm starting to get frustrated about the job thing, I haven't heard from them yet, and that annoys the crap out of me. I need the damn money. I'm already looking for apartments, even if it'll be a couple of months till I can actually afford one. Checking out the market, so to speak.
I don't remember ever being as stressed out as I am these days. And considering I sleep 14 hours a day, I don't have a lot of time to get stressed. I'm seriously considering having some bloodwork done, it feels very unnatural to be tired as much as I am, unless you can get this tired purely from having too much to think about? Just seems like everyone around me is down. The bat, my brother, my mom, my grandparents are really stressed out as well, even my little piece of heaven on earth, and the angel who inhabits it, is under a lot of pressure.
I've always been one to try and ease the burden of the people I care about, but this is a lot. I can't be everywhere at once, and with my own worries for the future, right now, my mental capacity is stretched a little thin. But I try. Bowling with sodabottles and citrusfruits to create a fun, distracting activity. Being the voice of reason in a bout of mental insanity. Comforting stray tears of frustration and defeat. Silently holding a hand to say you're there when they need you, whenever and however that may be.
I'm hoping these people know I want to be there. Hoping to see better days for them. Hoping that things will get easier. For all of us. Things look very dark and hopeless right now, but I've turned into an eternal optimist. It can only go up from here. Right?
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