One of those bugs that stick.

Oh, Peepers. Why, oh why, do I lack a Spencer Reid in my life?

... Sorry, I can't help but want to know that guy, every time I watch the show. He's just so damn adorably awkward, and not enough girls are hugging him, you know?

Okay, my pathetic tv-crushes aside. I had a real.. maybe-it's-time-to-weed-out-the-friend-list-on-facebook kind of day, the other day. Someone posted something I, among others, felt was offensive and uncomfortable, and the person posting it defended their right to post on their own wall. Which I'm not at all arguing against. I'm not arguing against whether what she was writing about (an episode about a confrontation with a complete stranger, stranger being a real jackass) had been her fault, either. I was only arguing that her choice of description of this person was unfortunate.

It was just the whole debate that followed that was so uncomfortable. I chose to just ignore it, from one point, cause she got downright childish about it, and kept making it worse while defending her right to do so. And sure. Free speech is a right around here. But that doesn't mean you're home safe when it comes to others. They're allowed to react against it, and if you choose to put a degrading description of person up in public space (which facebook is, whether it's posted on your wall or someone elses), you're going to get comments.

One thing is disagreeing. But taking it as an attack? Come on. Grow up a bit. No one were being mean. They were trying to point out the irrelevance of the detail mentioned, and how it really only made her look bad. Cause we all know she's better than that.

But here's the thing that's really bugging me about it. Some of her friends took her side and said it was perfectly okay to say something like that cause she was still angry, and needed to get it out of her system. Someone was saying it was okay, cause they knew she was a better person that what that comment, made in anger, made her look.

Right. So... When we're angry, it's okay to call someone something degrading? I don't care if that person never reads it, other people sharing the trait degraded could read it and take offense or feel really hurt. If we're generally good people, it's okay to sometimes be demeaning?

How is that an excuse? If you want to be a jackass and say offensive shit, fine by me, I can just take you off my friendlist and never have to worry about it again. But at least stick by it, own up to it. Don't go hiding behind "Oh, but I'm usually such a freaking samaritan, so it's okay I talk like that about people when I'm angry." Sorry, but no. It's actually never okay to shame a group of people. Not even if it's a joke. Not even when you're angry.

My respect for this person really has skydropped. To a degree where her "You can just unfriend me if you don't want to deal with stuff like this" seems very tempting. Also, just to add it, what kind of coward attitude is that? Unfriend people yourself if you feel so goddamned attacked, in stead of victimizing yourself like that, when people are just reminding you you're in a public forum. Jeez.

Ah. Getting that off my chest really helps. And I think I talked myself into actually unfriending her. Maybe it'll show her that actions have consequences? One can hope.

That be it for now, my lovelies. Grab a hug if you want!

(It's a pile of hugs!)

Damn betraying body!

Hormones. I dislike them right now.

I'm moody for no reason today, and it's obviously hormones, if my cycle is anything to depend on. Okay, not really for no reason, I've analyzed it to death. I'm annoyed and bored and restless and.. really freaking horny. Due to a convo with M last night, discussing teenage celeb crushes, I ended up watching clips of some of my favorite moviescenes. Starting with Leo DiCaprio in Man in the Iron Mask, and working my way up through time to my more current crushes. So my sleep was kind of uneasy, to say the least.

I woke up from a really really pleasant (and frustrating) dream about Sherlock. A very teasing, on-the-edge-of-giving-in type dream. There was slow stalking across the room, not breaking eyecontact, breathtaking and highly arousing kissing up against a wall, hands stopping me from really reciprocating any attention, lips fleetingly brushing mine without closing the distance again, the heat of flushed skin, blood rushing in my ears.. And that fucking rumbly voice just vibrating through me, suggesting, teasing, beckoning.

Holy fucking Merlin. I have been completely unable to focus on anything all day. Been trying to read, but I keep getting images in my head from that damn dream. And it makes my gut clench and long. That rush through the chest and tug in your stomach, shooting sensation further down. Lust. And then the annoyance. I get it, sexual frustration, it's only natural, but coupled with the days around my ovulation (oh, get over yourself!) it's a bloody nuisance.

So, I'm trying to take care of things, but it's just not at all working. If anything, it has the opposite effect. Which is not a surprise, after 206 days of celibacy. My former record was 9 weeks. This is 29½, so far. But I'm still adamant. Not untill.. Well, not untill I feel like in that dream. Breathless. Needing. Unable to resist. And not because I'm rowdy, but because I'm attracted. Yearning, burning, ablaze.

One of those updates for no reason

I'm rewatching shows these days. I bingewatched Sherlock last week, drooling the entire time. Jesus Christ, that man. How anyone can not find him the sexiest thing on modern TV, I have no idea. Now I'm watching Criminal Minds. Of course, there's a reason. Dr. Reid. And all the psycho/sociopaths the team deal with.

In November, I'll be playing a new character in CoW. And she is.. I haven't quite decided if she's a psycho or a socio, but one of, at least. Ms. Riley Novak, prefect of house Durentius, will be a little different than her peers. So my bingewatching is research. Also, watching Dr. Reid, who is my faceclaim and main inspiration for my Malkavian on the vampire forum, helps me understand Esben (that's his name) better. Or rather, deepen my idea of his personality and malfunctions.

I'm going to register for school on Monday. Yay! Looking forward to getting back to it. And to having an income again XD That'll be nice. Especially now that I'm single. I don't have anyones faulty economy skills to make up for, so I can actually not have to dread the end of the month, or have to secretly put money aside for food. I can save up for the things I want! And eat healthy! Okay, I already do that. Healthier! More veggies. Right now I only get what I need, but I miss having a selection to get creative with.

My knee is just about back to normal, and the training (shh, I'm not talking about it, cause I don't want to jinx it!) is coming along well. I'm underperforming on purpose, to make sure I don't ruin another bodypart, but it's fine. I'll up it when I'm sure no feet or knees will cave in under me.

If you haven't noticed, this is not a blog with a purpose, I'm just kinda rambling.

I have come to decide that I should only visit the grandparents twice a month. I can feel that even before I get there, like in the morning before I go, I'm agitated and on edge. I know they'll be yelling and asking fivehundred questions a minute, and screaming and discussing and ignoring, and it annoys me before I even get there. So backing off is a good idea. My sanity can't handle them right now, and they're extra bad these days.

I talked to A recently (we have looong talks on the phone about the important things in life, but more about that later) about "how the whole getting naked with someone" is going. That's his way of asking about my lovelife (which my phone attempted to correct to loneliness O.o Wtf, bitch?). Honestly, I'm thrilled with not having one right now. It's so.. Liberating? Relaxing? To not have to deal with someone else's shit, despite the fact that I have almost no shit to deal with in my own life, right now. Old me would love having someone to focus on. Current me is loving focusing on me. Seriously, focusing on school, friends and how to tackle the family? That's enough right now. Sure, who doesn't love the electricity of a crush, I have days where I want that, too. But then I look at my life right now, and even with my family being.. My family, my economy not existing, my house being full of unfinished projects, and school coming up ahead.. I'm happy. And not the contend, mellow sort of happy. The bubbly chest and giggly sort of happy.

I talked to my mom about this whole healing process I've been through. Am going through. Cause I wanted her to know I'm so very grateful for her giving me the space and helping me when I've asked, to get back on my feet. And I said that I believe I owe it almost solely to her and my grandparents. I did mean giving me the space and helping me financially, of course (and I wouldn't have been where I am emotionally, had it not been for that, don't get that wrong), but before I could get any further, she stopped me to say that wasn't true. That she would always be grateful to M for doing whatever it is he's done to my life, cause she believes he's the true healer in this operation. And she is very right. I know my family is aware how big an impact he's made, and it actually means a lot to me that they recognize how important he is to me. Which, apparently, I cannot stop mentioning here XD I don't care. He's worth mentioning a million times.

I am hungry now. I'm gonna go have lunch and watch more Criminal Minds.

Ciao, peepers.