Ablaze

Apparently there's something I've missed, in my ten ten-or-so years of reading fanfiction. Shipping is a word. It's digging a certain pairing. A Swedish friend told me that, and also got me up to date on using OTP as an expression. One true pairing.

So I can now go "I'm so shipping Wintersky, they're like my OTP!"

Yup. That's a thing. I dunno if I root for them, though. Or rather, I do, but I also root for Renlar. Or Skydor... I don't know which one is better. Skydor sounds like the entrance to heaven, though.

I'm taking a sewing break. 8 days! Fuck! 8 days you guys! So fecking excited! Yeah, feck is also a thing

Last night,  I did something I'm not sure was good or bad, but I felt it was needed. I needed to do it, and I hope it was well received and taken for the good intention it was. I don't know. I reached out to someone I don't really have any kind of relationship with, and with a bare minimum of words tried to express my understanding and sympathy for this person. They haven't responded, and I don't expect them to. It wasn't that kind of message. It's kinda like.. My way of smiling to the lady behind the register who looks sad. Not pity, just.. An acknowledgement.

So that is that. I also finished (with some help from a few creative minds and linguistic experts) our house song! Sendivogius now has a firethemed.. Text. I've sent it off to the musician, who is working on it over the weekend. I hope it just.. Feels right. He loved it, so that's a plus.

I have an insane craving for noodles and chicken wings XD like.. I can't believe how much I want noodles and chicken wings today. I'm also craving company, bit I have an ass ton of sewing to do, so no leaving. It's probably just cause M is away, playing soldier. We spent a whole day negotiating the marriage contract between our characters XD We finally agreed on everything. It's really silly. But we make each other laugh, and that is awesome. I feel like that one summer as a kid when my best friend went away for a week.. I miss him when he's gone. All my freaky brainery just piles up.

I exchanged dirty stories with P XD I write a piece for CoWdirt, and it just.. Took its own life and got too intense, no.. Not intense. Intimate! To publish. But he really wanted to read it, so he got to. And he wrote me one back. He absolutely loves my writing. And I've always been very private about my writings, so that meant a lot to me. Even if it's basically porn.. It's just that I've shared my writing with very few people before, and I've had some really bad experiences with it, so this made me happy.

I don't remember being this much at peace for.. A very long time. It's the best kind of therapy. I have love, support, friendship, understanding, interest, acknowledgement, fun, care, trust and really strong bonds in my life right now. I'm rejuvenated, rebuilding, becoming me again. I feel free and confident and generous, like I actually have something worth giving again. And more importantly, like I'm worth receiving something in return. I feel like every day is summer. And I'm not even afraid it'll crash and burn. I'll be fine.