Witches and wizards and vampires, oh my!

I have no hamsters left. Dirch died last night. I saw it coming, he was all weak and shaky yesterday, and honestly, he was like... 40% older than he was supposed to be. He clearly died in his sleep, though, so it was peaceful.

I'm obsessing a bit, these days. My mind is going in circles around the same things, and I'm actively distracting myself, so I don't go all OCD on myself. I'm working hardcore on my Czocha notebook, cause it gives me something to do. It will be so freaking awesome. I'm RPing, both Vampire and Czocha. Messy messy messy! And I'm trying to be mindful of my wrist, which decided to actually pop out of the socket the other day, so that was... painful and weird.

I'm rambling, can you tell yet? I've started watching Vampire Diaries O.o Figured I'd give it a chance, and suddenly I'm like 20 episodes in. It's not that bad, when you get in a few episodes. Not mind boggling or anything, but decently entertaining.

I had a weird moment a few days ago.. I was about to wash my hair, and I had to do a rather awkward wet-haired retrieval of a different shampoo, in the middle of everything. The smell... It's stupid. It just smelled like him, and it freaked me out. Because for just a moment, I missed him. I can't explain it. The shampoo smell had me thinking about the smell of the deodorant he used to wear when we first started seeing each other. He switched away from it a few years back, but I loved it. And those smells just went together. I could recall them when we weren't together, and it would make my heart beat faster and make me feel.. Well. Make me feel. All sorts of things. And for just a fracrion of a second, that was what I missed. I missed omelets, showing up at midnight to just hang, playong WoW in nothing but underwear and a blanket, reading in each our end of the couch, drinking tea and watching the snow while sharing childhood memories.

It was kind of a stab to the heart. And then I chose a different shampoo and finished what I was doing. Putting on my Emma face and going off the the clan meeting. I'm going to feel stabs. I just have to live with that.

The clan meeting went well. Things I said six months ago about structure, and gameplay, are finally being acknowledged. So that's that. A few of us continued the evening at my place, and I ended up sitting awake all night with one of the guys, talking. It was interesting. One of the topics he brought up was how I had helped him step a little more out of his shell. I'm not going to deny it, I have been helping him build up his confidence. It didn't take much, really. He just needed a friendly face who believed in him. Someone to build him up and ship him out in the world. I'm totally proud of him. And he was commenting on it cause he sees how I'm doing the same to his friend. Slightly younger guy, who I'm playing a couple with, in the campaign. It's kind of interesting to see him flower a bit, from just a bit of positive attention and some cuddling. Totally innocent. But I need to get some kind of conflict between us, soon, to test his confidence. To make him step up and defend what's his. Young guys are easy to deal with, like that. I've given him all the tools, now he needs to show me he can use them.

I'm gonna end up like that ghost at Czocha, with her Chocolate boys.

Anyhow. That's all for now, I'm dead tired. Update on Czocha stuff soon!