Out Of The Ordinary..

I'm having a total freak episode right now. It's the oddest thing ever, and sort of scary and really wonderful at the same time. I imagine this is how it feels to be high, but I'll never find out.

My senses are hypersensitive. I can see these tiny little flecks of color all over, even if I'm looking at my white walls, or the white of the screen, or the grey of the carpet. Like there's little rainbows dancing over the whole room, but in so small scales that I can't really make out anything but the specks. Glimpses. Like a diamond catching sunlight.

And I can almost taste it, the color. Simple ice tea had me wondering if it had always tasted so golden. Warm and sparkly, yet still as fresh and fruity as it has always been. Like there's two layers.

And then there's this physical pull. Towards people I miss. A couple of people I've been thinking more of lately, and been missing, just as I've missed so many others before them. And suddenly, it's like a physical thing, like a magnet pulling me towards them, even seeing their names in writing or looking at something that reminds me of them. And I have to restrain myself from getting up and following it, stop myself from something that feels more natural then staying put.

And the sounds, still-standing air, like waves around me. As if it were moving on its own, just for my benefit, to make me crazy. So weird and complex.

A lot of things are that, complex. Like the way my mind is fooling me into thinking these hightened senses actually are there, when it's just a trick.

The burn of my blood, cooled by the air in my lungs, making me feel cold and feverish at the same time. Maybe I do have a fever, maybe that's what's causing this. Maybe my brain finally snapped.

So ridiculous, really. It's finally starting to look good for me, I'm being granted gifts in life I never expected, and then there's just this burning craving for more. Once it touches my path, I don't want to let go again.

Greedy little girl. Greedy. Greedy for what? More? Or something in particular? Something undefined?